Feels

It felt like a blog post day. It has been ages since the last time and that was a re-post. We have had some serious ups and downs this year and writing has not been appealing to me. This is not a happy post but it is an honest one.


My sweet dad passed away in March and while I am dealing with it, I have days where I don't want to face anything or anyone. My depression has worsened over the last few weeks to the point where I will be calling my doctor this morning to see about anti-depressants and counseling. It is affecting my kids and my marriage.

I try to do things that make me happy, like sew and stamp and read, although the last one is probably not the best since I stay in bed and hide with my book. Doing those works okay when I get going. But then there is the stopping to deal with life. Taking my spouse to and from his bus, kids to and from school and activities, my own work and church responsibilities. It gets overwhelming pretty fast.
I find myself on the verge of tears frequently. Like right now.

Quilting

Sorry, this might be a downer post. It has been one of those days/weeks/months.

I mistyped quilting in the title at first and it was quitting. Which was fitting. (Which rhymes with quitting.) Because lately I have felt like quitting.

I am working on a commission bag. It is not going well. I want to quit. I can't quit since I committed to making it. I have been working on it since the beginning of March. Which seems to me like a long time to work on one bag. Especially when I have made smaller similar bags. It is the zipper pocket that is causing problems. I can't get it right. Also, snap placement has become an issue, as has finding a nice lining fabric. 

Then I have the baby quilt that I meant to give as a gift last year when the baby was born. The baby has now been one for a month. I finally got the backing fabric at at 25% off sale Saturday.

On top of that, our rent is being raised so we are house hunting and that is not going well at all. And our last rent check bounced thanks to the bank putting a hold on my husband's paycheck until tomorrow. And now we have to pay a late fee and  2 bounced check fees.
So yeah. I am ready to quit.

Instead of wallowing today, I pin basted the baby quilt and started quilting it. I tried out the stippling stitch on my birthday present, a Brother CS6000i we found at Target on Clearance.The stippling was way too dense. It looked cool, but took too much thread and time both, so, I will be ripping out stitches already. I moved on to FMQ and it is going well.
Then came the call about the bounced check. Now I am unwinding from talking to the very firm and stickler-for-the-rules leasing agent who would not budge on the late fee even though we have never been late on rent in 3 years except the time they lost our check. Sigh. And they want a cashiers check from our online bank. So we have to overnight it. Sigh some more.

And so I give you a pretty picture of the baby quilt being quilted to hopefully brighten a dreary post.

I'm going to go look for some chocolate.